Friday, May 8, 2009

It's a Quarter Past Three, and nobody's here but me and me

To DO:

fIND A WAY OUT OF MY mother's house.

Understand my decision not to go back to New York

Train my new psychiatrist and therapist

Learn to accept the future I have embraced while not walking over others in the process.

Not see myself as subhuman for liking to do what I do -- orlet others see me that way.

Write, research, work for money as tutor/personal care assistant/office-retail worker/lowpaid service worker

Prove to others that instability is not all bad , even if it's not what it's cracked up to be.

Embrace myself and new friends.

Get people here to understand just how far behind they are in their politics and thinking.

Find someone with emotions that they aren't afraid to talk about.

Be very very careful about how/whether I involve myself in side activities.

Be happy

All of the above seems extremely reasonable and desirable to me, and I believe I deserve change in a "positive" direction.

I hope that if I offend anyone with my behavior or words, that you will let me know that I have done so, so that I can not do it to you or anyone else again.

Jeez, this coffee makes me optimistic -- the next illegal drug.

I really want my readers to understand that though I may be in isolation for a reason (many of them), I am still committed to advance our cause insofar as it is the cause of justice, and I will talk to and behave according to the needs of anyone whose life has made them the object of hatred, scorn, ridicule or violence.

I've been there in some ways myself.

I really am needing to feel that someone out there is metaphorically holding their arms out to me, that I am not reaching out to thin air.

Suggestions as to how I can change, or whether I shoiuld just move on and barrel along at full speed toward my destiny, are welcome!

Love, the Queen of the Portuguese Beach Resorts

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